What People Will Say: The Phrase That Kills Dreams

I hate to say it, but there’s one phrase that kills more dreams than anything else, and people around you are probably saying it all the time without even realizing it. If you don’t have any idea what I’m talking about, the phrase is this: I can’t. Whenever you hear yourself or someone else says that, dig deeper and explore the reasons why they really can’t do something. Most of the time, they simply need to be motivated properly to overcome their obstacles and get things done.

Do it now before you lose your chance!

The truth is, we may never know. And that might seem like a scary thing to admit. But when you put your work out there, people will have opinions. They will judge you and they will criticize you. The harshness of those voices is what keeps many people from ever taking that first step toward their dreams.

But even the harshest critic has the potential to be your biggest champion. Some of the best feedback I’ve received has come from reviews on Goodreads or Amazon. It’s tough sometimes to read through all the criticism, but it’s worth it because every now and then you’ll find someone who loves your book as much as you do. Those are the reviews that make me want to keep writing.

I don’t have time to listen to your idea/project.

Listen, I know that it’s not always easy to get people to listen. I feel like we are constantly being told, no by the world. In order to make it as an entrepreneur, you have to be able to not only keep going but also bounce back from rejection and negativity in stride. It isn’t about what people say- but what they do when you tell them your idea/project. If they don’t want to help out, then at least appreciate the time you took out of your day to share with them. There’s nothing wrong with walking away without a follow-up conversation if it doesn’t seem like a good fit.

Why do you need money for that? Can’t you just do it yourself?

Sure, you can take on every responsibility in your new business yourself, but if you’re starting a company, eventually it will grow and become more demanding. You need to ensure that the idea is sustainable before investing too much of your time and resources into it. This means giving yourself the resources for growth and hiring people who are qualified for tasks outside of what you do best. You don’t have any experience or skills in that field? But you want to start a company in this industry? How can I help?: If someone tells you they don’t have any experience or skills needed for your project, ask them how they can help. They may not be able to contribute directly, but they might know someone else who could.

If I could only tell my story one more time…: Good thing there’s Kickstarter!

Can I invest in your business?

Asking for money can be scary and it might even make you feel embarrassed or like a failure. But asking for help doesn’t mean that you’re stupid, lazy, or unworthy. It means that you’re courageous enough to try and bold enough to believe in yourself. Think about it–if someone asked for your help because they believed in themselves, would you say no? If someone told you their dream and you said no without giving them any feedback on what they could do better, would that make them want to work harder? If somebody came up to you at the grocery store with a clipboard trying to get people’s signatures on a petition or sell something, how likely are you going to sign up or buy from them if they don’t ask anything from you first? Be brave enough not only to ask for help but also to give back.

I thought about doing that myself but never did… If it was easy, everyone would be doing it… etc.

People often say things like If it was easy, everyone would be doing it or trust me this sentence killed more dreams than anything else. What people are really saying is that they don’t have the drive or determination to work hard enough. These phrases suggest that if you’re not accomplishing what you want without a problem, then you’re simply not cut out for success. It’s easier said than done! We all know the expression It’s better to give than receive but there is a lot of truth in that statement. When we spend time helping others, whether, through volunteering or donations, we build up our own self-worth and often experience increased happiness as well. A personal example of this phenomenon occurred when I went on a two-week volunteering trip with WorldTeach and spent my days teaching English in rural villages in Nicaragua.

How much does it cost?

When people ask, How much does it cost? they’re really asking how long will this take, how much am I investing in this, what are the fees involved, and why is this worth it? In other words: What’s in it for me? Why should I do this? Why can’t you do it? Why should I believe you? Why can’t we just hire someone to do it cheaper/easier/faster/better? Who guarantees that you won’t just run off with my money? Who says you’ll be there when I need support or advice? You must have a hidden agenda, some ulterior motive. I don’t have time is code for I’m not interested. It all sounds too complicated–no one ever said anything about this before. Is this even legal? Where’s your contract? I thought these things were supposed to be simple! If no one else is doing it, then why should I?